Tuesday, September 28, 2010


Dear Debra, I am praising God right this minute and thanking Him for your willingness to share your dinner jewel with us. Eating small amounts is a high place for me. It is so difficult for me to stop once, I start eating and I am so very hungry after waiting for the growl. It cheers and helps me to hear an example of doing just that. I can do it for the first half of the day; but weaken after the second growl or third growl. God has so blessed me in other areas that I know this ashrar pole will be destroyed to as I listen and focus on him.
Deuteronomy 8:1 Be careful to follow every command I am giving you today, (this includes stopping at first signal of full for me),so that you may live and increase and may enter and possess the land that the Lord promised on oath to your forefathers. Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years (yes), to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands (yes). He humbled you, causing you to hunger (thank you Lord, for the growl, for the signals in my body that you need to rule) and then feeding you.(since He knows how much I should eat, he feeds me and all fear of the food idol will leave)......Praise God!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Ephesians 6:24

Ephesians 6:24 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth, buckled around your waist (my belt of truth tells me there is too much flesh around my waist), with the breastplate of righteousness in place (this is where I need to recognize my empty heart and fill it with prayer & the word instead of food), and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace (as my feet run to serve others, I will find this peace). In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith (my Savior,Jesus Christ) with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation (focus on God) and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the spirit in all occasions (before a growl, before eating, during a meal or party, afternoon downtime, nighttime lie, head hunger, posting) with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
This has been a tiring, low energy afternoon. I have had thoughts of needing food for energy; but have not given in. When my grandchildren came over and wanted snacks, my husband cooked them something, then I was asked to fix another child a snack which I did and did not eat. I ate with a growl at 11:30am after fasting for 18 hours; I was very hungry and planned to eat what I had cooked for my husband which was fish, rice, lots of veggies. But I began to eat nibbles of this and that as I cooked; and by the time the fish and meal was ready; I had the beginning of my full feeling and I did not eat anymore. This is one high place I must tear down in my life. I like to stand and eat at the counter as I'm cooking. I get really hungry when I wait all the way to the growl. I often eat bites before I put food on my small plate. I am especially drawn into this when cooking food before a meal when I am so hungry. Any helpful ideas to overcome this would be greatly appreciated.
It's 5:30pm, I'm tired, have a headache but don't feel hungry; but want something (food of course) to take away this pain of tiredness and headache. Of course, eating hasn't helped in the past years I've listened to this message of lies; but I keep thinking that maybe "If I eat just a little, I won't be tired." Then I never eat just a little, one bite leads to another binge. My story, my pattern, needs to change to become God's story for me, God's plan & pattern to follow. Yes, yes. Hope you are having a day of peace. With love, Carol Louise

3rd day Testing will come

Please remember me in your prayers today. I have had 2 days eating only with the growl and stopping when full signals begins. This is my third day and this is when I falter and stumble. I am focusing on God as I live today, work and pray for His will to be shown in all I say, do and think. One thing that has struck me as I've gone to God and asked why? is that I was focused on losing the weight. It was all about being thin and still loving the food. The focus is totally different this time. I am focused on God, loving Him, and letting the weight loss be his gift to me, and my obedience will be my gift to Him. I am reading Weighdown Basic and this statement caught my heart. "Am I a failure, or is God angry at me and sabotaging me? Well, you are not a failure, it is not genetic, and God is not sabotaging you. He does hope that your slavery to diets and overweight will make you call out to HIM. He is in LOVE with you, and He wants you to depend on Him for deliverance so you can see how mighty He is and how important you are to Him."

Then I read this from Legends to the Treasure, Pearls of Wisdom card: Phil. 4 "Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

"Anyone can read or write about what to do--but nothing counts until you put what you have learned INTO PRACTICE. You must take the next hour and get it right. Then take the next hour and get on your knees and get it right. Look at your weakness as an opportunity to develop a dependence on God. If you could get your eating or sin under control the first time you tried, you would not develop this dependence. Just keep practicing with prayer and you will develop a deep love for God. You will grow to appreciate your weakness. Without it, you would have missed this relationship. Love your Lord with all of your heart and do not cotinue in your weakness--continue in the dependence upon God."

May your day and my day today be filled with dependence on God and mastering self-denial, I pray!!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

wt 167

I am going to weigh twice weekly; but only post the weight that is Sunday to Sunday. The other weighin is just a reminder to me to stay on the path and that I need to focus on God's weight for me, not what I weigh.
Worship service today was very inspiring. My husband spoke on patience and perserverance to the congregation. Our Sunday School lesson was on families and preserving our family history, journals, etc. The teacher passed around a basket of homemade lemon poppyseed rolls and another kind. I had not eaten anything for breakfast and had a growl. I took one small muffin and ate about 3 bites or half of it, rolled it up in my napkin and thought I can eat half and be satisifed. My husband had finished his and I offered him my half which he enjoyed. It made me smile to think I actually served him and followed Heavenly Father's spirit. Sweet jewel!
This has been the sweet jewel of a Sabbath day! The music filled my soul with joy. The words spoken were tender and true. I felt the Lord's presence all around me with smiling friends, hugs and children's laughter. My test came after church, however. Since I am no longer planning when I eat, I had to really focus on Gods' growl. I had eaten that half of a muffin and did not have a growl. As a matter of fact, I felt pretty full; but the head hunger said "you need, NEED to eat something for your next meeting at 3pm when you are teaching the young women." I thought, "What's the question - Do You HAVe a GRowl??" Answer: I do not. Then do not eat". I came in, sat down at the computer and posted this message. Now the head hunger had left and I will lie down for a nap as I read Debra does and be ready at 3pm for the class I am helping to teach. I am NOT going to watch and wonder about when the growl will come. God will send it when my body is ready. I am feeling hungry for okra and just received some in our fruit and vegetable order from the coop Bountiful Baskets on Saturday.
Saturday is usually the day I cook our vegetables from the coop for the week. Bountiful Baskets delivers two laundry baskets full of fresh fruits and veggies (always a surprise what they are) and we pick them up around 7am from the truck that delivers them to our mountain at a high school parking lot. Very fun, very cheap and wonderful fresh food. So, my husband and I clean them, I cook up some and we store the rest or give it away. This Saturday we got okra, brocilli, winter squash,, celery, onions, zuccini, and lots of other stuff. Well, I'm from Oklahoma originally and my mom and grandmother fried the best okra. So that is what I will have when God sends the growl. Saturday was a fast day and I choose not to cook. My husband supported me and cooked his own food and did it today too. I thank my Heavenly Father and Jesus for such a kind, sweet, patient husband. We have been married 48 years, have 4 children and 17 grandchildren and one sweet kitty, named Lilly.
Ephesians 4:28 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and FIND OUT WHAT PLEASES THE LORD.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

9 pm post

Great day. Just wanted to return and report that I was lead and followed the spirit. This first day of beginning and returning to the basics.
I focused on God's will and kept my promise of the fast to Him. A sack lunch was served at 4:30pm, half a sandwich, grapes, chips and a cookie. Before I ate it, I prayed and thanked God for my fast, which also asked for a blessing on my son with chronic pain in his hips. The presentation went well with lots of displays on how to live within our means, treat our husbands, care for children, emergency preparedness and of course family history which my friend and I did. The meeting lasted over 4 hours. We had about 200 women come and participate. Now for the testing!
As I left the building, I had the thought, I would like to eat the rest of my sub sandwich from a leftover meal in the refrigerator. Wait! Focus! Listen to the lie. You cannot think about food unless your stomach has growled. But I only ate one meal today, I fasted 36 hours, I had several growls today, go ahead and eat. But wait, said my heart, listen said the spirit. The big question, "Is your stomach growling?" Answer: "No" Then how do you respond to the test. I will not eat. As I got in the car, another thought came. How about a caffeine-free coke from the 7-11? Yes, and that's what I did with lots of ice. I sipped about 4 ounces and didn't want any more. I came home and had a good talk with my husband as he wanted to know all about the meeting. Then I knew I needed to post my spirit-filled day, about the test, and now my stomach is growling, but I choose to fast this growl as it is nighttime, 9pm and I don't want to go to bed with a binge spoiling this wonderful day. At night, if I take one bite of something (just one bite won't hurt, I hear the lie) I keep going, some of this leads to more of that, and before I know it this wonderful day will be spoiled. No, I will pray, read scriptures, lay out my clothes for church and go to bed with a full heart and empty stomach. Also, I like Debra's weigh-in plan of weighing on Sundays and Tuesdays and I plan to follow this schedule. SO tomorrow I will weigh, record it and will post it next Sunday.
May your Sabbath be filled with light and love from our Savior and your loved ones. With Love, Carol Louise

Checking In

I am using a WD message board to reach out for help. I am posting here as a check for myself by posting my weights on a regular basis. Perhaps twice weekly or even daily if I feel lead by God to do so.

Weight Alarm

My weight is now 171.0. I don't know how I let myself get so willful and gain 10+ lbs. I am sounding the weight alarm and starting again with WeighDown message board and some wonderful friends there to keep my focus. My focus is now on listening for and doing God's will in all things, but especially the food idol. No more bowing down to the refrigerator. Done with that hurtful overeating, weight gaining, stomach hurting, gerd causing false god.

Beginning Again...

My RivertonFamilySearch class went well. My stomach is growling and having a fit. My fast ends at 4:30pm. So I am turning to ways to fill up my tummy emptiness. My heart is very full. I am not thinking or desiring food at all. PTL! Just want to find the right words from God and feel his love. I'm taking a moment now to pray.....I just asked for a scripture that will keep my heart open to Him. This is it: Isaiah 40:29 - "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." I feel weak when I follow my will. "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength." I am renewed each time I pray, read scriptures, hold my tongue, post, sing to God, praise his name, reach out to friends and family, "They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." What wonderful promises, and God keeps his promises! And so must I. I promise to eat only when my stomach growls, to pray for God's will in how much I eat and stop when the full feeling begins. No more second helpings, no more just another cookie or sweet, no more wandering, no more bingeing, no night bingeing, no more zoning out, yes, more God in me and less food so there is plenty of room in my temple for God to dwell. With love, Carol Louise

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Set a new low for many months. Joined another class with WeighDown. I have had eye surgery in October and had my eyelids lifted so I could see and look better. My weight has stayed between 167.0 and todays' low of 159.5.